gone.

i wonder, would these fingers be able to tappity tap backspace re-tappity tap, if it weren't for the knots in my stomach. for the mess in my head. i ought to have done a spring clean 3 springs ago but i keep telling myself its alright, it will clean by itself.

in my head i am surrounded by mountains of piled up garbage and there seems to be no open way to walk around without the risk of getting hit by dirty resentment. i face that heat, with myself to blame.

isn't it cliched to ask, "what is happiness?" but i ask myself that at the end of every day. and i stumble every time i have to answer.

i look back at the years and i find myself missing the person i used to be; troubled, brave, nothing-in-the-world-can-stop-me attitude. there were a lot of cuts and bruises along the way but i was independent and free. i knew i could survive on my own cause i had to.


i look at myself in the mirror now and i don't know what i am looking at.


i lost all traces.