inhale

it was not a door. it was that line. intonation, and voice. it is the expression i cannot see. i have nothing to lose so i am pushing my hardest to the very limit and by limit let me tell you i do not know where it is positioned. around the corner by that horizon i cant purely say. maybe i need that rock-bottom. i need to bleed lying down on some concrete. then i scrape and i crawl and i titter... walk... run again fast as possible. i heal while i run, trip then titter, repeat. repeat, repeat.

meanwhile i'll just laugh every single moment saying this is good i am good i am okay. push every thought away with nonsense i make it up in my mind fast reeling non-stop.

i have been here before. it all seems familiar. but i have more conscience than i did before because i grew from back then. and met people that changed my life somehow, made me learn somehow, and i lost someone so dear to me he's in heaven and i learn from that too. there are pros and cons but life is what you make it.

though it is a blur i do believe i will be alright, i will find the way. i just need to continue running. if not harder.