rengekan pagi buta.

Sebenarnya siapa yang tahu?

cinta sejati.



setakat mana boleh kita sampai tahap itu. darjah mana yang kita harus alurkan tenaga bagi puas merasa inilah yang benarnya dan tolonglah jangan beri aku sampah 'oh, kau tak perlu cuba sangat, semuanya menjadi bila berjumpa cinta yang satu' hei kawan, mungkin kau patut tengok saluran lain selain sinetron prima/astro ria. discovery channel ke, national geographic ke, sambil sambil itu dipersilakan kurang menbaca suratkhabar tabloid seperti metro/kosmo yang secara amnya berita utama berkenaan bomoh/artis Malaysia/kejadian pelik.



apa sebenarnya? cinta sejati.



bila dikaji, rata-rata golongan atuk nenek kita mempunyai rumah tangga yang bertahan hingga ke akhir hayat. anak anak boleh buat 1 team futsal + 2 team foosball secara average dan kalau dikira cucu, mak ai. nak buat flash mob dekat c.m pun lepas. tapi, apa dasarnya? cinta sejati?



aku selalu fikir, kalau aku bakal berkahwin dengan orang yang aku cinta bagaimana aku mahu pasti yang itu adalah teman aku yang tanpa berbelah-bahagi, teman aku sehidup semati. bagaimana mahu tahu langkah ini memang sempurna dan tiada yang lebih sejajar.

tak berapa lama yang dulu, ada kawan bertanya. apa sebenarnya cinta? and basically i was taken aback. i mean, how can you not know love? but she had valid points. to her love is when you feel all giddy and dreamy when you think about a person you like, when you talk to that person, you have this uncontrollable nervous pit in your stomach that doesnt go away.

i said to her, is that really love? she said yes. and what can you say because how does one explain that mysterious thing anyway right? kenapa ada orang jatuh cinta dengan nerd yang practically menyembah anime, kenapa cinta yang bercakap 24jam walaupun yang mencintai bagai bisu, kenapa minah rempit, kaki gig, kaki wayang, kaki clubbing, kaki masjid, kenapa kenapa kenapa.

abang aku kata when i was your age i believed i held the reigns to change my destiny but somewhere down the road i had the realization everything was planned, every single detail was a work of a higher power, and it really is. but you have to realize that on your own.

now that i know the pieces will all come together one day, i still want to question. what are you and most importantly who are you cinta sejati and how will i know you are you? because i dont ever want to let you go once you're in my grasp. i dont think anyone would ever want to if they knew. because how could we? even being the pessimist that i am i still believe life is too short to be spent alone. even being the egoist that i am, i still would love the idea of making coffee and breakfast for my partner in the morning. you are needed somewhere, see, you belong. does that contribute to cinta sejati? i sure hope it doesnt only come afterwards.

isnt it curious how millions die over the centuries because of this intangible thing called love. really, what are you?