i hope i haven't fallen into the trenches of insomnia. yesterday slept late while my elder brother ranted outside my door, feeling unsatisfied with the fact that i closed the door during the peak of his speech. a loud sigh is always accustomed to such situations in and out of anger and, whats menyampah in english? exasperation (sounds so baik in english)
a heavy, more calm sigh shall follow suit, best practiced while listening DeVotchka and The Notwist. A miao keeping you company while you're down also helps.
numb as numb ever gets, I am utterly surprised as to how untouched, undeterred, and very much jaded i still am. on one hand it feels like someone just zap your whole memory and you feel kind of lost, but you can still quite function. which brings you to a confused state of mind. to panic or not to panic.
on the other hand it just makes everything more questionable than they ever were. or rather at times when you have to question, you dont. lack of judgment they say, but by fact its just an act of dumbing-down til you fall flat on the earth.
cos what else have you got to lose?
i dont have any.
i lost this battle,
im back to square one with my face flat on the earth.
and i dont care if it swallows me.
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