when i think its about to stop, when i feel like i'm finally safe now, it starts again. i'm scared and going crazy at the same time. i am past the question, 'why' already it seems so pointless to keep asking and to mess up my already fucked up sleeping time. i wonder at moments if i am being too conscious and if i were just too paranoid. it's a possibility.
but what is the normal reaction anyway? when the situation itself is beyond normal?
i dont ask for it. always without warning, anytime of the day. tired is a word to describe how else i feel. with such a difficulty falling asleep i have no idea how its going to be when i start working.
it was knocking sounds on my sliding door.
repetitive, adamant, knocking sounds.
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